Cells Be Multiplyin' (Culture Shock)

I found a blogspot (new to me): trap.blogspot.com. Bam...eloquence stated to cover the inadequacies of my tongue. I was reading in Millenial Star blogspot and there were two or three blogger-fags (my term, my meaning) talking about didactyl bullshit and other weird Mormon stuff, and I got the feeling they were stroking each others'...must I be so crass? What is the point? I find other blogspots that seem so real and honest. One named ned flanders...I'll learn to reference one day when I have time. I know it's interesting to delve into the nether-regions of deep doctrine, but I thought the point of the Gospel is to save. Keep it to yourselves, crackas. But then I chose to read it...Anyway, I am closer to naming my dilemna. I know the Gospel is true, but I don't like going to Church. Or, I don't feel included in Church. I'm not talking about wanting to fit into a 'group' like an pre-adolescent kid, but I'm talking the whole personality. I feel most members are hiding from something. What's yer pain, brother? There is no talk about healing. No confiding...I like a blog called Mormon Feminists (?) where some sisters talked of Trolls...find it and read it. Does anyone get the feeling Elders Quorum lessons are time-fillers? Hmmm...I'm not trying to sound blasphemous. I'm not. My testimony is rooted in the Saviour firmly. I just don't 'feel' the organization.