The Calming Yin To My Fiery Yang

Back in 1992 I worked at Target for Christmas. By LDS standards I should have been on a mission but I was depressed, using drugs, and clubbing, and piddling around in the junior college here. I actually did not care what direction my life went or even if I ended up dead. I had a few close friends, and that's all I wanted. I even denied Christ, the possiblity of deity, and the hereafter. Now, this was pretty radical for me. My whole life I played the Mormon game, Master Scriptorian for 4 years in Seminary, Eagle Scout, dating the Bishop's daughter (they're freaks!) and so on...So there I was at Target, and I walked by Human Resources and there was this girl with purple hair, and I was like, "Oh yeah, purple haired chics are hot." At this time, Ministry was coming and I was looking forward to the show. This purple-haired hottie came up from one of the registers and asked me to go with her to the show and to a hotel afterwards for a party. I was like, "Uh, I'm already going with my girlfriend" (I had another girlfriend at the time-girls flock to me for some reason). Ministry came and went, and we talked a little here and there at work, and it turned out we liked the same music and enjoyed smoking pot. So one night after work, we went to this wooded field behind the Community College and got high and were laying down in the woods watching the clouds blow over the tree tops. If this doesn't sound fun, you've never smoked pot. I was kind of describing the scene from the point of view of being on the ocean floor watching the seaweed (represented by the trees) floating and swaying in the currents of the tides. She then told me she wanted to kiss me. I said, "Uh, I have a girlfriend"...and then we made-out for a while. One day, about nine months later, she said, "I'm pregnant, I'm quitting cigarettes, pot, alcohol, and so on so the baby will be healthy". I was like, "Ok." That was a very condensed synopsis of how my wife and I met and our family came to be. Oh yeah, my girlfriend I so sincerely admitted to (yeah right) having and I broke up the next day. So, I am (somewhat) honorable. We don't smoke pot anymore (sometimes I'd like to), we're done having children (yay! 11 year olds are hell), and we are faithful LDS people. I still like Ministry. Alot. Someone asked me, "Is that Chrisian music?" I just laughed...