I Want To Be A Rancher
1000 more Zarqawis=1000 more bombs!
I have something I must confess: I was a little saddened when I hear of Zarqawi's death. Here's why: Being the American enterprising capitalist Texan big-truck driving meat-eating heterosexual Christian that I am, I thought of a business idea solely for the pleasure of CEOs of major oil corporations. A big-game ranch! I'm sure you've heard of ranches in the U.S. that have exotic game such as ostrich, emu, water buffalo, lions, tigers, komodo dragons, endagered African antelope, etc. stocked so the average joe could spend a weekend hunting conveniently in the U.S. without having to travel the globe to acquire big game trophies and meat. That is what I want to do, but with a little twist.
First of all, I will buy a couple of acres in central Texas. I will then contract with the U.S. military to purchase terrorists caught in war and set them loose on my ranch. Then, to recoup my money used to purchase the terrorists, I will lease the ranch on weekends to Big Oil CEOs, Republicans, and basic white people to come hunt the terrorists! I will charge by the head, meaning I will charge more for big name terrorists than the average run-of-the-mill loser terrorists who we kill in large numbers everyday anyway. At night, to rile the sensitivites of the terrorists to make the hunt more interesting the next morning, I will broadcast Jewish preaching over loudspeakers the whole evening. I can't go wrong! I will be performing a (worldwide) public service by eradicating the terrorists, I will be making a profit, taxes will go down because less money will be needed by the military because I'm paying them, and the terrorists will die happily believing they are martyrs in their twisted fantasies. Everybody wins!
In case you are thinking of ripping my idea off, I have a patent on it, and I will sue, as it is the U.S. way to do!
I have something I must confess: I was a little saddened when I hear of Zarqawi's death. Here's why: Being the American enterprising capitalist Texan big-truck driving meat-eating heterosexual Christian that I am, I thought of a business idea solely for the pleasure of CEOs of major oil corporations. A big-game ranch! I'm sure you've heard of ranches in the U.S. that have exotic game such as ostrich, emu, water buffalo, lions, tigers, komodo dragons, endagered African antelope, etc. stocked so the average joe could spend a weekend hunting conveniently in the U.S. without having to travel the globe to acquire big game trophies and meat. That is what I want to do, but with a little twist.
First of all, I will buy a couple of acres in central Texas. I will then contract with the U.S. military to purchase terrorists caught in war and set them loose on my ranch. Then, to recoup my money used to purchase the terrorists, I will lease the ranch on weekends to Big Oil CEOs, Republicans, and basic white people to come hunt the terrorists! I will charge by the head, meaning I will charge more for big name terrorists than the average run-of-the-mill loser terrorists who we kill in large numbers everyday anyway. At night, to rile the sensitivites of the terrorists to make the hunt more interesting the next morning, I will broadcast Jewish preaching over loudspeakers the whole evening. I can't go wrong! I will be performing a (worldwide) public service by eradicating the terrorists, I will be making a profit, taxes will go down because less money will be needed by the military because I'm paying them, and the terrorists will die happily believing they are martyrs in their twisted fantasies. Everybody wins!
In case you are thinking of ripping my idea off, I have a patent on it, and I will sue, as it is the U.S. way to do!
posted by White Man Retarded at 9:33 AM
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