Thursday, January 05, 2006

Diamond In the Buff

What a time to be alive...I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions because I think I will always be changing, for the good or bad, and I have goals I am constantly working on. I appreciate the sentiment, though. In the past I have dwelled on the 'sinfulness' of my character. The sinful nature I have is no better or worse than any other man's; the natural man is an enemy to God anyway. After I go through a cycle like this winter's, I always find a period of respite from the turmoil, a warm spot I can see what this life is really about. Could depression be a tool to strip someone of the unnessecities of thought? I don't know, and I don't like to speculate either way. I was laying in bed thinking Sunday, and I was reflecting on a talk my bishop gave in Sacrament meeting. It was based on a story I heard as a youth: Two dead people (I'm paraphrasing!) were in line to be interviewed in the post-mortal world. The first went in to a room and two persons asked, "What do you know of the Saviour, J.C.?" The person went into a long discertation about the life and teachings of the Lord, after which he was thanked and courteously dismissed so the next person could be interviewed. Immediately upon entering the room and presence of the Interviewers, the second person knelt at the hands of the Interviewer and while bathing His feet with his tears, replied "Oh Lord, my Saviour." Hmmm...I loved this story as a youth. So, I was in bed and I thought to myself, How much do I know the Lord? There have been times when I felt especially close to Him and then there were times, such as the last few years, I have not felt any closeness at all. I haven't been 100% grateful or perfect either. But instead of making the typical goals of timed scripture reading, 100% family prayers, etc. I decided to become closer to the Lord. For me. I'm being selfish. I want to develop the relationship We share because It is the only anchor in this tempest which is my life. Now having said that, scripture reading and prayers, more family time, temple attendance, and so on have and will continue to fall into place on their own. In the past I've focused so much on reading the Scriptures every day, it became the end-all. I missed the point of the goal. So far so good...
P.S. Joseph, Emily, Uncle Marlowe, I've shaved my head again (dark laughter...)...


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