Friday, March 31, 2006

Goth According To Goobers

Previously my 11 year old son tried to explain Goth as defined nowadays to me; here is a snippet of that conversation: "Son, what is Goth?" "Goth is like, black,..." "So Kanye West is Goth?" "Noooooo..." (I start to sing Golddigga at this point...). Goobers likes the Goth look and his girl-friend was Goth but I think she undyed her hair. Goth according to Goobers, Part 2:

Me (old, don't understand, clueless dad): Goobers, what is Goth?
Goobers (knows everything about current fashion trends): Not talking to you (whine, whine).
Me: What current bands typify the Goth look, or statement?
Goobers: Green Day, because they wear black with a red tie and paint their fingernails black.
Me: What other bands?
Goobers: Evanescence
Me: Why did you say Evancescence?
Goobers: Because you won't leave me alone until you embarrass me.
Me: How am I embarrassing you?
Goobers: By living (how goth-dad's statement).
Me: Is Cure Goth?
Goobers: He wears lipstick...no...not black
Me: So, because the Cure is not black, they aren't Goth? So you just reaffirmed to me Kanye West is actually Goth (She took my money...Girl I'm in need...)
Goobers: The Cure is not goth and you're trying to be cool like, me...uh, no, goth people.
Me: Is Mercury Rev goth?
Goobers: They sing about clouds and flying frogs with colors.
Me: Black colors?
Goobers: Colorful colors, like Green.
Me: So Green Day is not actually Goth because their name starts with Green.
Goobers: Wow, so clever, Green Day don't walk around with Green clothes and sing about butterflys.
Me: So Goth is just clothes and fashion then...Is K goth?
Goobers: Yes.
Me: What makes K goth?
Goobers: You're just jealous.
Me: Of what?
Goobers: Hmmp (prissy snort)
Me: Who else is Goth? Was I Goth when I wore black pants as a bartender at Pappasitos?
Goobers: no...no...no
Me: What other bands you like are Goth? I want to get a clear picture of what Goth is because the Goth I know is different from what you call Goth.
Goobers: Panic! At the Disco...(looks at mother) aren't they Goth? They wear black eyeliner. I'm sorry that back when you were a kid you had to wear overalls. (I'm laughing) Not funny...don't put that!
Me: Do you know there is a painting titled American Gothic with the man wearing overalls. Is he really Goth? Where is his eyeliner?
Goobers: There are other definitions...duhhrrrp!
Me: Like what?
Goobers: Why don't you look it up in the dictionary, wahhhhh...
Me: Name some bands and quit being goofy.
Goobers: I can't think of anymore you've asked me like five times, and if you're such an expert, don't you know? I don't know...
Me: Well, I think if anything, Green Day is as Goth as Britney Spears and Madonna, and I don't like the term 'Goth' but Mercury Rev fits the true definition and so does Alien Sex Fiend. And definitely old Cure.
Goobers: B. Spears walks around in newspaper, Madonna is like 60 years old, and Mercury Rev sings about meeting people on Spanish Stairs. What's that about? And, A. S. Fiend, you can't even understand one word because he is screaming, "Annnh". Hmmmmp (prissy snort)
Me: So why isn't the Cure Goth?
Goobers: Name some of their songs; they sing about-
Me: All cats are grey, the Forest, Faith...
Goobers: All the trees are green, we've been past this subject...

There you have it. Green Day is Goth, Alien Sex Fiend is not, the Cure is not, M. Rev is not, Bauhaus is not. Evanescence is Goth?...ugh, Evanescence is friends with Linkin Park so there is no credibility in my book for them. Evanescence sucks eggs, Green Day eggs...

5 Comments:

Anonymous Susan M said...

Sad isn't it.

I tell my kids that Green Day is bubblegum punk, and Linkin Park is bubblegum angst. (They all love both bands.)

At least my youngest has discovered Iron Maiden.

4:35 PM  
Blogger White Man Retarded said...

I'm trying to get them into Twisted Sister. Ha! All of this 'Goth' garbage bugs me. The kids' friends decide to be some other sub-genre at the drop of a hat. Funny little children...

5:21 PM  
Blogger Moi said...

My husband has a Motley Crue and Monsters of Rock t-shirts hidden in the basement. I hope and pray my kids never find them. So far, they haven't gotten into anything harder than Radio Disney.

6:04 PM  
Blogger wendela said...

Panic! at the Disco - interesting to listen to all of "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out" instead of an overplayed pick on the radio. Tell Goober, it's definitely not goth. "Green Day eggs" - I like that one (cuz ya know I don't like Green Day). Like other styles, Goth has evolved. Didn't it sorta start late 70's at first from punk, like Siouxsie and the Banshees (who I liked back then),etc. Bands like Bauhaus, Sisters of Mercy, blah, blah, blah way back when were "goth".... Though now with what people consider goth, it wouldn't seem so, I guess.

I see these kids walking around in packs around town, pale with dark make-up, all in black and maybe they're trying to look sorta goth, but it comes off more like pseudo-punk/emo/wad of cash at Hot Topic. *sigh* The real "goth" thing has sorta been lost (or at least misplaced). So funny what our kids think! I have a feeling your music's volume is set higher than Goober's. :)

It's nice you can get his perspective and he talks with you, even if he does throw in the prissy snort now and again.

10:47 PM  
Blogger White Man Retarded said...

That is one of the many plusses of capitalism, someone will try to cash in on a fad and shear the sheep of their money, a.k.a. Hot Topic upper middle class rebels without a real cause, and ruin any 'fashion movement' such as goth.

4:10 AM  

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