Monday, April 24, 2006

Houston Doll

Friendship is a strange thing. What is a friend? Is a friend a casual nice acquaintance you hang out and do stuff with, or is a friend much deeper and more involved? Is a friend the person you most like to work with when you go to work, or does being in the Ward automatically make you a friend, or make other Ward members your friends? Does 'friend' have multiple meanings?
I have a few friends. Not many, and it's not because I'm mean or the other people are mean, or for lack of trying. There are few people I feel totally comfortable with talking to and telling everything. By the way, the friends I do have are members. I wonder if me being a member makes me unable to have true non-member friendships? I mean, being a member totally overshadows every aspect of my life. I don't go around precluding anyone from my circle based on membership status, but the non-member people I know still party and do stuff I have no time or desire for anymore. Maybe that's what I mean: differences in the roads we travel. Different directions, different paths...

So anyway, I saw the few people I consider friends except for one over the weekend, one at stake conference (I actually went to Church Sunday) and one called me up Sunday night after I got back home teaching. I told the previous ones I was thinking of holding Church on my own w/out the ward, and they kind of set my head on straight with some personal stuff which I didn't think about, and my other friend is going or has gone through the same stark depression/sickness I go through and can totally empathize...He recommended seeing New York Doll and I would relate to it and it would strengthen my testimony and set me at some ease seeing someone else with the same problems and perspective of the subject of NY Doll. So that's my next project, to see the New York Doll. Has any of you seen it? I think Susan has, but I'm not sure...This friend of mine is going to help me set up my recording stuff and when I make my cd's I'll post my music online, but then you might have to talk to the bishop afterwards!...:)

Another thought: What do you think the world would be like if there was no T.V.? This is a serious thought. Would we have this worldwide strife like we have? Would we have any clue as to what was going on all the time in the next city even? Do you think life would be simpler or more complex? I was thinking of this, and if I didn't watch the news or any T.V. would the world still turn? Would I miss it? What would the effects be on my family? I don't know because we don't watch much T.V. anyway.

11 Comments:

Blogger Moi said...

I don't have any "friends" in my ward. I have aquaintances. A friend to me is someone that notices when you're missing, and calls you. Or someone that, when you pop into their head, calls you. I guess a friend to me is someone that calls you, lol. JK. I guess someone that genuinely cares about you. That thinks about you every so often, and then does something other than think about you. Like show up at your house, or call you, or send you an e-mail. Call me crazy, but I've called people I haven't talked to in 15 years just because they were on my mind. They're always surprised. I try to be a real friend. Not just a "call me if you need anything" type of gal.
As for the New York Doll DVD, I haven't seen it, but was tempted to buy it a few weeks ago on ebay. I didn't though. Eventually I will break down and spend the 10 bucks. Can I ask you a personal question? I think I read that you are bi-polar, right? Do you take medication for that? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I was just wondering. I have a sister that we think is bi-polar. She hasn't gone to church in over a year, and hasn't talked to us for about 2 years. She thinks she can heal herself, which is one of the symptoms I guess.

7:27 PM  
Blogger Mimo said...

That's Carrot's way of saying she's been waiting for my call and I haven't done it yet. ;)
I haven't seen nor heard of the movie. Let us know what you think of it.
To me a friend is anyone I'm glad to see, whether a close friend, or an aquiaintance friend. Some people I don't know very well, but I am happy to see them on Sunday, and consider them a friend.
As for your other question, about tv's. The first thing that popped into my head is all the bad stuff that we see on tv, and how it's affected our way of life and our children and the moral fiber of society. I also thought that Soddom and Gomorrah didn't need tv's to get so bad God destroyed them.
So I don't know how much more simple life would be now. We wouldn't be able to listen to conference every 6 months. That would hoover.
I'm not sure what's going on with you, I haven't read enough of your blog to see. But I went through 10 years of inactivity, so I might be able to relate.

8:15 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth-W said...

I think there are friends, and then there are Friends. Like Carrot, I don't have any Friends at church. My two best Friends both live in WA. One is a member and one is not. I think what makes a Friend is time. Only over time to you find someone who will stand by you, always be there, etc. I get up there to visit them as often as I can, we email, and phone as often as we can. We can go months without talking, but when we do, we're laughing til we're crying, and and I can say just about anything and feel safe. I can't say that about anyone else in my life, aside from my husband. My guess is also that men do friendships differently than women, stereotypically.

10:11 AM  
Blogger Thurbs said...

You'll like New York Doll. It takes Kane to hit rock bottom before he turns to Mormonism. It's an inspiring flick. This guy is an average Joe who was down on his luck for many, many years.

I've always thought people should only have maybe one or two close friends in their wards. There are always Peter Preisthood's who will shake everyone's hands, but that's more acting friendly than being a..."friend."

11:53 AM  
Blogger White Man Retarded said...

I went to an LDS counselor who said, "Sounds like you are bipolar." I haven't followed it through because: I don't want any negative psyche evaluations on my resume, background, etc. for present and future jobs, I'm nervous I would lose my personality which I like very much and turn into a gelatinous mindless blob, and I'm experimenting on my personality. Hmmm...So, am I bipolar? Yes and no, maybe, maybe not.
As far as ward friends, I find the outward showing of affection such as shaking hands in Church functions, etc. is false. "How are you doing?" "Well, I've contemplated suicide three times today. How are you?" That's not how it goes...sorry.

6:28 PM  
Blogger elasticwaistbandlady said...

A friend to me is someone who'll discreetly point out that your dress is tucked into the back of your pantyhose thus leaving your exposed ass for all the World to see. I'm starting to wonder now if anyone has Church friends. I sure don't. I used to have a good convert friend that was almost as disgusting as me but after a series of unfortunate events her and her husband left the Church. Miss Biotech and I are friends but she's pissed at me right now for letting her plants die while she was on vacation for a month and she doesn't hold the same appreciation for flatulence humour as I do. Now, here's the odd thing. I never advertise my Mormoninity on the blog or have anything LDS listed on the profile page purposely because I don't want people passing by to think my craziness is representative of the Church. However, most of my new blog friends are Mormon. Coincidence, or do you think we can somehow sniff each other out?

I don't know what New York Doll is but it sounds like a gentleman's club.

We don't have any use for T.V. programming except as a vessel to run our DVD's through.

10:52 PM  
Anonymous Susan M said...

New York Doll is really good. It's odd to see my two worlds collide--church and rock music, but Arthur is a sweet man who'd been through a lot and I was impressed with how his old bandmates accepted his conversion so non-judgmentally.

As for friends at church, most of our closest friends are ex-Mormons or non-active Mormons. The rest are non-members. I've never really fit in with anyone at church. There's been a couple wards where we've had some friends, but they weren't really close friends.

6:53 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth-W said...

Contemplating suicide even once a day is a real buzzkill, really interferes with that whole 'men are that they might have joy' thing. I'll never say another word about it after this, but if you want an anonymous person to bounce some ideas off of, I'm more than happy to do it. Just b/c the guy at lds soc services said you might be doesn't mean you are; and medications are tons better than they were even 5 years ago. Leave me a msg on my blog if you want to email about it.

12:53 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth-W said...

Oh, and NY Doll is on the top of our netflix lineup, so thanks for the tip!

12:53 PM  
Blogger White Man Retarded said...

Oh, I don't think I am, because I never followed it through. But I'm not discounting it either. I just have so much responsibility as a husband and a father to pursue it right now. Priorities...I think in hyperbole; I've never considered suicide; I just said that to make a point on what I consider false friendships based on commandments to be nice. Actually, life is too short to do everything I want to do.

3:55 AM  
Blogger Moi said...

You better be careful Elizabeth. You'll have us all laying on your cyber couch for advice.

10:15 PM  

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