Monday, January 08, 2007

Many years ago there was something growing inside your mother...

And it was you...!

I'm trying something different with Scripture study. I'm looking up topics in the index and studying the references instead of reading the Scriptures chronologically. I've done it before years ago and I don't know why I don't do that more often...

Home Teaching is going well. One of my families just had a baby boy, Jonah. My other families are doing well. I get more from them than they do from me, I'm sure.

Female fetus is growing. We have a live-action ultrasound and in it she yawns for ten or so seconds, and when she shuts her mouth, her cheeks look so fat! I love fat babies! Today, while I was working out, I wondered how much my life will change having a daughter. I thought if I would feel for her more, less, or differently than I do my sons. I wondered what kind of man she would marry, if I didn't dismember him first. I also wondered how to love her so she wouldn't fall prey to worrying about her body image and bulemia-izing herself. I wonder if any of my mood-chromosomes were passed on.

I want so much to get back to the Temple. I think February will be the time. Elder's Quorum talked about weakness being a thorn in the side, but also I feel very strongly it's a medium for growth. I so desparately need to learn patience and humility. I think once I learn faith, hope, and charity, I'll be on my way.


Anonymous Susan M said...

Girls are different. And you'll love it.

I should get back to the temple, too.

7:17 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth-W said...

Welcome to my world. I totally understand your angst. Body is a huge issue at my house. I don't want my girls being raised with the same stuff I got. So we talk a lot about healthy eating and exercise in the context of bodies being a blessing, something we have stewardship over, like everything else. My mom gave me and my sister a bit more "boys don't like fat girls" messages than she intended to.
Shazzy has a monstrous family history of depression/anxiety, and I totally worry that it's going to rear its ugly head. But, I think that while biology predisposes us, if we raise our kids in optimistic, hopeful ways, it can buoy them up, makes it less symptomatic than it might otherwise be?
You're inspiring me, Patrick--if you can struggle as much as you do, and still think about temple attendance, then maybe I should, too...

12:18 PM  
Blogger White Man Retarded said...

Um, follow me at your own risk...

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Barb said...

Fat babies are great! My niece who is a 1 1/2 looks a little chubby to me. She is super active though.

I think how a father treats his daughter is important to her self-image. It is also important for her mother not to say things about her own body such as needing to diet or count calories as children listen and it effects them.

I hope you get back to the temple soon.

6:43 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

You write very well.

8:20 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home