Thursday, February 22, 2007

Communication of Validation

I shaved my head again. To the skin. It feels liberating. Isn't that weird? I went to eat lunch with my 3rd grader and all the kids ask, "Why are you bald?" (children are refreshing, by the way). So, I tell them stories like, "I was sitting in my hot tub when all of a sudden I saw this giant asteroid way up in the sky and it was heading towards me. I was both fascinated and scared I could not move, but you know asteroids burn up in the atmosphere, and right before it hit me, it burned out and all I felt was this massive gust of super-hot gases which consequently burned all of my hair off." Some look like they're trying to comprehend what I'm saying, some say "Wow" or "Nuh-uh" and the thinkers say, "Then why do you still have eyebrows?"...

As I was laying in bed waking up, I was thinking of these girls I have constant interaction with, one married, one not. On the outside, they talk of all these guys they would like to have, or had, or so on, and I was thinking of communication and how it pertains to this situation. Growing up LSD...ahem, LDS, the youth are taught, at least in my experience, to stay away from the loose of morals, they are no good, and you'll only get burned by hanging with them.
I look at people and automatically, without trying, see what they're saying. Not verbally, with words, but how they present themselves. It is not judgmental in nature, it is just a reflex of my mind. I was thinking of these two girls (30s in age) and I was wondering if they knew what they were saying to everyone...? Again, not words. They are good people with flaws just like me and you, but they
The message I got from them was validation of self and where it comes from. And basically, this is a lesson, which in retrospect, I've been learning my whole life. Coming from the basis of everyone needing validation, where do we seek it? Are we strong enough to recognize it coming from the Lord? Are we secure enough in our relationship with ourselves to accept validation from ourselves? Do we seek outside validation from anyone, like these girls I am talking about? I kind of apply it to blogging. I know blogs only allow a glimpse into someone's life and perception, but some of them are so blaring in their communication, and their needs for validation. I've run across blogs where all they blog about is "Please, please blog me. I need numbers." In applying that to my thoughts on validation, how is the message different than what these two girls are conveying in their pursuits? Outside validation, by numbers? Could their be such a thing as whore?


Anonymous Susan M said...

Interesting. In the web forum days we called them attention whores.

I have a friend who was in a bad motorcycle accident and his leg is badly scarred/mangled from it. When people see it they can't help but ask what happened. He always tells some giant whopper. His favorite is to say he had a conjoined twin but they got separated.

6:51 AM  
Anonymous Barb said...

I think the need for validation is very natural. Most people need social acceptance and this can help keep us in line. I have some insecurities as I imagine most people do. And when I feel out of my comfort zone around certain people, there is probably nothing they could do to make me feel like I belong. I have had people be that nice to me.

Other places where I feel like I belong, my behavior is a lot more normal.

I do worry about the impression that a lot of people may have of me. Fortunately, I have a some good friends that make me feel like I am okay. I hope they are right and not those who have rejected me. But all the same, I just gotta try in live me life and hopefully live a good one at that.

There are some places that I make a scene and then exit the forums into lurking status. Then, somebody has a really interesting blog and I so wish I did not exile myself because I want to comment. Such is life!

Just when I think I am over being so hyper, I go and so something rather attention seeking. A lot of my problems deal from not being able to go to people in real life with my problems. But I know that does not give me a right to be so attention seeking. And I get so mad at myself when I do it. I tell myself not to do it again.

Well, I'm not perfect.

5:57 PM  
Anonymous Barb said...

I don't like that word w---e though. It is pretty mean to call a person.

8:29 AM  

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