Monday, May 15, 2006

A View To A Shrill

This is not a serious post. Allow me a brief moment of levity...Levity's brevity...I went to the gym today because I can, and walked into the place and it was weird. I go to QLS in Kingwood, and lately it has become a status symbol to have a membership there. I walked in and I heard the aerobics instructor yelling over the loudspeaker to this really gay club music, and the lights were this neon pink and purple with the overhead lights dimmed, with mirrors on the walls reflecting endlessly...There is this clique (sp?) there I call the Naked Leatherettes. It's about a 5-person group of ladies walking around in workout clothes barely covering the essentials and they tan (QLS has there own tanning salon) constantly. They look to be about 40-50, and they are the size of skeletons with abs like Schwartznegger in his prime. They intimidate me...I walk past them and I look down to the floor because I don't want them to think I'm checking them out. But, they roam the gym in a little pack. Anyways, the scene was assailing my psyche...I wear Heather's IPOD when I work out to drown out the background noise and delve into the music. I started out on the stationary bike. Each bike has a little plasma monitor to watch tv and the bike I chose was showing The View. Have any of you seen this show? It is 4 ladies who look like I should know who they are, but I can't place their names. They blab forever about nothing...kind of like what I'd imagine Enrichment meeting to be like...don't get mad at me, I'm just calling it out! Anyways, they had Jewel on.

Jewel? Now, remember I had on my IPOD so I was watching Jewel perform without any sound. They showed her backup band playing, and it was a bunch of guys who looked so hip with their carefully messed-up hair, raggedy jeans, and goatees playing their instruments so passionately, swaying as they rocked their bass, geetars, and drums. So, I plugged in the earphones to see what was the emotion about and the song was horrible. Have you heard Jewel? She sounded like Alvin from the Chipmunks. Dead serious. Who are these hip guys playing for her? Do they feel her lyrics? The music was non-descript, the lyrics were standard 'I love you/hate you' bull-shitniz, and Jewel was Alvin...What was going on? I started laughing so hard and plugged in My Bloody Valentine. Google them. They make me want to go on. My Bloody Valentine-my anti Jewel.


Blogger elasticwaistbandlady said...

It's been rumored that Jewel was raised as an Alaskan Mormon. I don't think much of her music. Her poetry book isn't even printed on quality paper that I could use to wipe myself in an emergency. The only positive thing going for her is her blonde hair, and her amazing yodeling ability. Oh, how I adore yodeling.

7:17 AM  
Blogger White Man Retarded said...

The only thing Jewel is good for is she moved to Texas. She might have some kind of inkling of thought...Blonde hair is a non-issue; blood shows more vibrantly through blonde hair than black, though.

7:45 AM  

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