Monday, November 13, 2006

Blast The Brain Cells Orbiting New Space

Hey. I work and go to school both full time. Therefore, there are these frequent stretches of funk where I go to work, work 12 hours on these extremely sick people, and then come home to be with my family for an hour or so before the kids go to bed. However, that hour I'm like a zombie. Lately I wonder if the rest of my life is like or will be like this. Cabaret Voltaire had a song where they interspersed the sample, "Go to work, go to church" over and over again. I think I'm having mortality death blues. Anyways, I'm currently on Shiner light (gotta watch the figure) # 4, slowly careening over the deep end...
I saw a special on Fox News about India Company in the Marines when we invaded Fallujah (rightfully so). Man, I wish I could have been there. Punk m*****fuckers...the terrorists, I mean. Zarqawi left the city after we invaded, urging his men to stay and fight to the death. How can a whole group of people be so blind to his cowardice? If you are that convicted in your beliefs, wouldn't you be an example and stay? Anyways...
Depression isn't that bad. I give up. No more fighting. Just floating. I skipped Primus last week. Which is really weird because live they are 20 million times more intense than recorded.

I read The Poisonwood Bible. Really great book. When we lived in Copperas Cove while I was in the Army, Baptists used to come over asking me if I've been born again, do I accept J.C. as my personal saviour, and all that rote bs. The book reminded me of that on the surface. It got to a point where it seemed the Baptists had to prove their faith (to their friends or themselves???) and cut their teeth by harassing me, me being a Mormon. Then there is Fred Phelps, the almighty Baptist minister from Topeka, Kansas, on a mission from God. Google him. Dead Whelps. Baptists are the American version of Islamofacists. Sorry if I offend, I'm just wallowing in my mire...


Blogger Elizabeth-W said...

Glad you enjoyed Poisonwood; I've liked everything she's ever written. My MIL lived in Africa as a teenager because her father was an Episcopalian minister there. When she read it, she had some serious flashbacks.
Got a kick out of your Baptist comparison--they'd probably say the same thing about us Mos :)
So sorry you're runnin' ragged. That's horrible thing to be so disconnected from the family.
When I was a little girl, in preschool, my dad was finishing his master's at U of Houston, and between teaching classes, and going to school, pretty much he was never home during my waking hours.
One day my mom got a call from my preschool teacher. The teacher asked if everything was going okay at home. Mom asked why. The teacher said, Well, Elizabeth mentioned today that her daddy doesn't live with her anymore". Mom was so mortified-and perplexed that a child could be so stoic about the whole thing. So what I'm glad at least you're getting to check in with the babies, baby-to-be and Heather. Hang tough!

8:59 PM  
Anonymous Barb said...

It is good to know that you seem to be okay considering.

8:22 AM  
Anonymous Barb said...

It does look like you are experiencing burn out from long hours in a demanding job.

10:42 AM  
Blogger elasticwaistbandlady said...

I heard a Basement Jaxx song today that I actually loved, and I immediately thought of you. "Hush Boy" is so 70's style retro funky, I'm totally entranced by it. Especially the girly man voice singing, "Do you want me for your girlfriend?"

My 5 year old wanders the house asking for his daddy almost every day. What can we do? Papi's working today for a better tomorrow, and you are too! It's so corny, but true. Wow, look at me rhyme, it's so sublime.....

10:28 PM  
Blogger annegb said...

I like Barbara Kingsolver, also.

What do you do that you work on sick people? I would imagine you'd have a lot of empathy with them.

Sarah told her seminary teacher that she was the only active member of her family. That's during the years that her dad was in a college bishopric and I slept in a lot. Your story made me think of that, Elizabeth. I laughed.

3:01 PM  
Blogger mullet said...

king crappa, elastic?

11:54 AM  

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