Asystole

My mood has flat-lined. DNR. Morphine drip...Comfort measures only...

I am not feeling anything. I feel no light, I feel no dark. My feelings are flat. Not apathetic, just nothing. The weather is beautiful in Houston today. I rode my bike home and the hum of the motor, the feel of the slightly cool wind, and the humidity-less atmosphere was great.

One of my friends here looks up other peoples' houses on tax records to estimate how much they make. My siblings are heroin addicts. My wife is beautiful and gestating nicely. And I'm getting old.

I read the BOM everyday (almost) but don't go to Church. I pray, I sin, I feel guilt, I eke my salvation. Minimal devotion. Great faith, limited works...

I look at my front yard in the suburbs of Kingwood and think to myself somewhere to the South of me is a girl hating herself and displacing it on Americans by comparing her humble, honest living to the decadent lifestyles of the imperialists gringos. Ah, the righteousness of the noble poor...

Ramble on...

Wait...What?

I'm sorry, I tried to refrain, but the news in the past week is a commentator's buffet...We had Amehdinajab (sp?) in our hands and we let him go...Ugh...Come on, what is our leadership thinking? We had him on our soil, countless armed volunteers to take him out...what?

The Pope quotes some 16th century ruler's estimation of Mohammed as bringing nothing but violence and hate into the world so what does the squeaky wheel faction of Islam do? Prove the Pope wrong? Turn the other cheek? What???

There are UFOs circling our space shuttle?

I ignore the news (on purpose) and look what happens...

Storms and Black Clouds

Well, my old faithful friend is back. I'm hunkering down and gritting my teeth hoping for the ride to end. I had a dream last night and I wonder if it's some kind of premonition or something. I was riding a roller coaster at an amusement park and Jacob, my 9 y/o was in the seat in front of me. I looked to see if he was scared and he wasn't, but it appeared my youngest, Matthew, was in the seat next to him and Jacob was kind of acting as a guide, pointing out to Matthew not to be afraid.

And yes, I shaved my head again.

Depression is a bitch.

Sept. 11

What were you doing 5 years ago today?

And You Will Know Us by the Trail of the Head...