Thursday, August 31, 2006

And I Paused In Cosmic Reflection...

Confused and Wondering, How I Came To Die....

So here I was, playing drums to this cd I made with ac/dc, flaming lips, chemical brothers, prodigy, and the pixies, and then I switched to the theremin, and then the thought...

What if we are all dead already, on this sphere of existence, and those that 'pass on' from our sphere are the ones obtaining their eternity?

I don't actually believe this, I was just thinking...

So Where Are the Spiders?

A little Ziggy for you...

I'm reading this book called The Naked Communist by W. Cleon Skousen. It starts with the theories and philosophies leading up to Communism, the history of the Bolshevik revolution and subsequent U.S.S.R., and the world-view of the Russian Communists. It takes the views of Communism and Capitalism, compares experiments in both, and makes statements regarding 'benefits' of both philosophies. In making these statements, speeches are quoted, and the author's comments are backed up by footnotes, I guess in order to minimize the author's bias. It is very interesting, even more so since I was alive for the last 1/3 of the Cold War (if you believe it's over). All of this leads to this thought:

When man was put on Earth, he was given Choice. Looking back on religion (in general, not any denomination, deity, etc.), governmental philosophies, different societies, etc. man has always tried to search out some new, better way of living as they saw fit at that particular time. So, taking all of these differences into consideration, does the Choice of government men decide upon create the society they live in or does the society men live in create the philosophy men choose to govern themselves in? I was watching a Discovery channel series on Indigenous tribes of New Zealand (where is Old Zealand?) (hahaha, playful jab at Pisces, seeing I'm from Texas...get it?) and Africa, and I'm not going to get into the obvious lifestyle differences of indigenous tribes and other civilizations, but the above question arose.

For those new to this madness, I'm LDS and fully embrace the idea of peaceful persuasion in terms of religious philosophy. I think it's interesting to see all government stems from religious questions. All of them. Am I wrong?

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


My wife was lamenting her pooch and looking at herself sideways in the mirror and groaned. Matthew, our 4 year old, asked what's wrong? She replied her stomach. Matthew asked, "Getting big, like daddy's?"

Heather will be able to tell the story better since I heard it from her. How funny. I love that little boy.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

September 14, 2006

I was running and listening to the IPOD and all of a sudden it froze in the middle of the song So Long by Pilotdrift which is a 'new' (?) band from Texarkana who my beautiful wife and I are going to see in Austin on September 14, 2006 when they open for the Polyphonic Spree. It's going to be an outside show in the fall in the hill country of Texas (mf)and hopefully the sky will be clear, the music loud, and good feelings, and of course Polyphonic Spree. The music is so powerful; we saw the Spree last year in Ft. Worth over July 4th weekend and it brings goosebumps. The show was in the middle of these woods in a botanical garden and wow! The sky was clear and although it was hot I didn't notice it. So anyways...

I ran 5 miles tonight-I walked the last half-mile fiddling with my frozen IPOD. I have to run with music, there's no other way. Here's what I listened to until the big freeze:

Where's Your Head At-Basement Jaxx
Astronomy Domine-Voivod
Artificial Intelligence-Autechre
Broken Drum-Beck
Golden Path-Flaming Lips w/ the Chemical Bros.
Plainsong-The Cure
Puritania-Dimmu Borgir
So Long-Pilotdrift

Then the cursed freeze. This is what I would have finished with if IPOD played nice:

Cursed Male-Porno For Pyros
Voodoo People-Prodigy and Chemical Bros. (I really like Chem. Bros.)
Starla-Smashing Pumpkins
Push It-Static X

So, 5 miles. Darn it. I have to get new shoes, my shins are starting to ache. I will post pictures of the Spree when the time comes.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Run For Your Life!!!

They've arrived. Crossing the borders these immigrants are hell-bent on our destruction. Do they have rights like you and I? Some people think so. Others would like to shoot them. I don't know where I stand on this issue, but I feel all the work I've done to raise my kids right and live by laws, respecting others, and doing good is being thrown down the drains as these miserable little creatures overrun our country 'just to find something better'. Miscreants. Social tyrants. Well, I'm from Texas, and we have a sure-fire way of dealing with unwanted undocumented pests, unlike those in the liberal Northwest. You want to see what happens when we turn the other cheek?

Then click here.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Put Out On A Corner, Today Ain't Garbage Day

I woke up this a.m. around 4, trying to motivate myself to run, and ended up in the bathtub again surrounded by bubbles, the water-jets on high, reading...and thinking. I was reading C.S. Lewis and the Bill of Rights in this Constitution set I got a while back. So I was thinking on events, on people I interact with on a day to day basis, people I read on the blogs, and so on. I started thinking of personalities, how one is formed, is there a turning point when one radically changes, or does one change at all??? Hmmm....

I have this friend who is LDS and he thinks in very linear terms. I see he is a good man, meaning his heart, but we grate on each other. He has tight control on everything in his life. There are rules and they must be followed. I am not like that. I follow rules, of course, but I adapt according to situations. I am not eloquent but I know what I mean. I am not faulting him. I'm just stating differences in perspectives. This led to my next thought.

Do we interact with each other from the basis of our insecurities? I think there is some level of self-hate in all of us; it's a part of human nature, I think. I have a book written about Relationships where all relationships are reduced to three types: Relationships with God, Self, and ??. I forgot the other one. But the one with Self intrigued me. Is it selfish or arrogant to love your Self? At first I thought so but now I don't. I think there is a level of dishonesty when we interact with each other because we feel we have to present our best selves (what we perceive to be our best selves); basically, we present a lie. I received two emails from other bloggers, one from someone stating not to post on their blog because they don't want the 'others' to know I'm LDS (WTF). Then the other wrote me about boundaries. That's fine, I see where they may be coming from, but I disagree. If one blogs one is putting something into the public eye for scrutiny and should accept this. I took their personal responses (they emailed me, not blogged me) as something they reacted to on a deeper level. So do we react to each other based on our insecurities? What drives a personality?

I remember growing up thinking of how people were supposed to act in life. In Church they are to be the stoic, spiritual, all-knowing statue of perfection. Then one day (or rather, one period of years) I snapped and entered the dark side (Lucas rules) where all my preconceptions of how it is supposed to be melted away. It was a painful period but in retrospect was necessary because I have a tendency to be hard-headed, brow of brass, neck of sinew, and all that. It took a fall of great magnitude to break me, although many have fallen harder than I have and my heart goes out to them because I know the pain involved. But then in one moment I realized I've been fighting the wrong war, so to speak. All have insecurities, all have dreams, all have a direction, be it good or bad. But does our insecurities form the basis of how we interact with each other? Can something else drive our personality?

The title comes from an old Flaming Lips song about personalities.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

For the Far Queue

I don't have the talent of words so here you go. It has stated everything that I've been saying but in clearer terms for Pisces and Zatikia.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

"Misfire" shouted the Synapse


My baby, my lover, my theremin...recognize the purple robe in the right corner?

My wife taught me how to make t-shirts. Here's my first. Do you get it? Dork Side of the Moon...

This is my mind after my theremin. Hey, it's the sun, and it makes me smile...

Monday, August 14, 2006

Welcome to hell, preacher...

What movie is that line from?

I went to Church yesterday. Good times. I've actually been reading the Book Of Mormon everyday for a while now. It does make a difference, but putting it into words is not possible for me. I love the Gospel. I've been concurrently reading the Comprehensive History of the Church and it adds a great appreciation to the work and the direction of the Gospel in the future.

I try to see patterns in my life, when I look at my past. I see the ups and the downs and I wonder if there is a correlation between having my heart set on something not of the Gospel and the down-times? There is so much distraction in this world: music (good or bad), work, bills, war, politics, family (good or bad..ha ha ha), obsession with myself, there is too many to name. Sometimes I can go outside and stand there and there will be nothing going on but it would

Anyway, I'm deleting Ministry from the IPOD and I-tunes library. I'm not announcing this to brag or show what a spiritual man I am but I'm looking forward to being reconciled to Christ and I don't think I want that weight always dragging on me. Music is physical to me; when I get reflective, Ministry becomes heavy...not in the musical sense.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006


I don't know if you know who this kook is but it's good to get her out. I was wondering if Georgia had lost their mind, but apparently not. Here's a woman who slapped a police officer who was doing his job, claimed he was 'racial-profiling', and got away with it. Talk about priveledged politicians...I don't know how close the race was, or if the other candidate is any better, but at least McKinney is gone.

Check this out.

8/10/06 Update: Those evil conspiracies finally thwarted her. Not that the voters had a say in her loss, it was the 'voting irregularities'.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

August 22, 2006

And it came to pass that when I, Mormon, saw their lamentation and their mourning and their sorrow before the Lord, my heart did begin to rejoice within me, knowing the mercies and the long-suffering of the Lord, therefore supposing that he would be merciful unto them that they would again become a righteous people. But behold this my joy was vain, for their sorrowing was not unto repentance, because of the goodness of God; but it was rather the sorrowing of the damned, because the Lord would not always suffer them to take happiness in sin. And they did not come unto Jesus with broken hearts and contrite spirits, but they did curse God, and wish to die. Nevertheless they would struggle with the sword for their lives. Mormon 2:12-14

...Not that I'm making any correlation. But aren't our times really bizarre? There's a general fear, a palpable tension in the air. Do you feel it? The whole world is in an uproar, the politics are a mess, leaders are smeared everyday by either the people or themselves, or both, the people we looked up to back in the day are turning out to be scum (priests, soldiers, police, family...), everybody has an answer but it always contradicts everybody elses'...The Flaming Lips of all people put out a political album...(I'm listening to Telepathic Surgery).

Thank goodness for faith, Temples, and truth.

In All Seriousness...

I was thinking of governments, certain political systems, the end results if you follow any movement to fruition, why the lust for power, etc. and I reduced the whole thing to two lines of thought. I thought of this awhile back while studying sociology and psychology a few years ago. Take away all the factions (Christian Coalition, Peta, Now, Aryan Nation, Bush-bots (my term), any 'fringe' movement on both sides of the political spectrum, and you get this question which fuels world politics: Does man (species, not gender) change from the inside or does the environment change man?

Think about it. Leftist politics favor bigger government control over individuals. Communism is the most open, completely thought-out example of leftism. The fringe groups, even those who claim to be rightist, are actually in favor of more government control over man. (I would say these 'fringe' factions are possibly all tools in the toolbox of Communism, so to speak, but that is another topic) The Constitution, which is based alot on Western philosophy (re: Plato, Socrates, etc.) postulates man is a free entity in control of himself and his destiny. And therefore the struggle is: does man need government to guide him, or does man guide government?

For those who understand LDS philosophy, does this sound at all familiar to you?

Here's another thought: Communism and Radical Islam have the same goals in mind: complete domination of mankind. One stems from a biological point of vies and one stems from a theological point of view, but the end result is the same. The common denominator? Power. (I'm splintered as to whether or not all Islam is not Radical...I like to think not, but the barrage coming from 'Islamists' is overwhelming).

Also, as I stated earlier, when using the term 'man' in the above blog I mean the species, not the gender, so Pisces, don't get your thong in a wad.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Have you ever wondered if I was a dork?

Here's proof: I bought a theremin! I've been waiting forever (it seems) to buy one. It sounds so cool, like electric jolts of ecstasy up and down my spine. Yummy! My amp (Roland Cube 60) has a few effects and wow I love it. It's hard to interpret the sound to mere words.
I don't know when I heard the first theremin. Looking back I remember hearing it during the old b/w horror movies and not knowing what it was. Then on Pet Sounds Brian Wilson uses one (a theremin-like device, not an actual theremin). Gotta keep those good vibrations...Jimmy Page used a theremin and I always tried to figure out how he made those sounds with his guitar, but it turns out it wasn't a guitar. Then I saw the Polyphonic Spree last July 4th weekend in Ft. Worth (attn Pisces Scaredalot: Ft. Worth is in Texas). My sexy wife and I got there early in the afternoon and heard soundcheck, and this freaky sound was coming out from over an acre away, but we couldn't see the stage because the concert was in the middle of this forest. We made it to the stage and The theremin. Wow. My past, present, and future collided at once into this glorious colorful peak of sound (a theregasm, if you will) and I coveted one ever since. Now, my dreams are realized and cells are replicating (attn Feces Iscariot: replicate means to divide and multiply).
And the best thing of all: Beautiful wife and I are going to see the Spree in Austin on September 14 and I hope to interview the thereminist on some issues of technique and possible effects he uses.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Well, Gollee...

It's about time. Then hopefully all of the whiny non-Americans will be happy about us slowly isolating ourselves and spreading our cursed capitalism all across the world. Damn evil individual-rights. Damn the ignoble freedom-mongers. Damn letting people doing as much or as little as they want. Damn Americans...

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


Where is everybody? Is everybody sleeping? Have the United States of America gone comatose? Where is our backbone? Why are we scared? Or are we scared?

"O that ye would awake; awake from a deep sleep, yea, even from the sleep of hell, and shake off the awful chains by which ye are bound, which are the chains which bind the children of men, that they re carried away captive down to the eternal gulf of misery and woe." 2 Nephi 1:13

Ever since the beginning of this country there has been some element trying to tear it down. People can't seem to take responsiblity for themselves. Where is the decency? Every other billboard is an advertisement for either liquor or strip clubs. Sure, one can point out the depravity of those institutions but those institutions are getting money from somewhere. The new line of PG movies are dealing with heavy sexual content.

I think there is hope. I have trust in the decency of most of the population here. I run into these people everyday in the hospital, where they are faced literally with life and death situations. I see it in the neighborhood, where people are waving and smiling at each other. I love being an American. I love being born under the rule of the U.S. Constitution. I love the fact I have the freedom of choice to be part of the military defense of this nation. I love the fact I have the relative freedom of raising my children in a way I see fit, to guide them to self-reliance and responsibility, and hopefully a spirit of gratitude towards Heavenly Father who has blessed all of his children. These things none can argue.

"If thou art called to pass through tribulation; if thou art in perils among false brethren; if thou art in perils among robbers; if thou art in perils by land or by sea; if thou art accused with all manner of false accusations (Far Left Queue), if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters; and if with a drawn sword thine enemies tear thee from the bosom of thy wife, and of thine offspring...and thou be dragged to prison, and thine enemies prowl around thee like wolves for the blood of the lamb; and if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son (and daughter), that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. D/C 122:5-7 Basically, to rip off John Lennon, the war is over, if you want it. Ha! Lennon must be mortified at the context I used his quote. Be of good cheer, the battle has been fought for us, the outcome is known.

Excerpts from Our Title of Liberty: Latter-Day Politics for Latter-Day Saints

Author: Michael J. Snider

Beware of Attacks on Motives as Opposed to Actions

As we observe the political discourse of our day we need to hear both sides of every issue. American democracy is founded upon the concept of 'the loyal opposition.' Our history is sprinkled with great debates on the important issues of the day. Disagreement is to be expected, as it is perfectly reasonable that good and well-meaning people will disagree on any number of topics. However, it's vital that we are able to distinguish a reasoned argument from one designed to direct attention away from the specifics of the opposition's point of view by attacking the opponent.

Snider goes on to quote Reagan (bbhn): 'Any time you and I question the schemes of the do-gooders, we're donounced as being opposed to their humanitarian goals. It seems impossible to legitimately debate their solutions with the assumption that all of us share the desire to help the less fortunate.' Reagan, 1964.

And so it goes. Is it human nature to degrade those with other opinions than ones' own? It appears so. My opinion here is that the so-called do-gooders either have ulterior motives for their words or they don't have a foundation for their arguments except their low self-opinion. The U.S. Constitution allows the most freedoms for individuals in the world. However, I feel (my opinion, based on observation) the country is slowly slipping away from the intent of the Constitution. I agree with certain statements of certain 'do-gooders', in that the U.S. should stop meddling in other countries. Let us become more self-sufficient, let us build up our borders and take care of the house before we fix the neighborhood. In so doing, let's take away our foreign aid and funnel that in-house. Let's demolish the U.N. center in New York, call the whole experience a failure in a nobel experiment, and make it a National Center for Constitutional Studies. Let's create a third party, call it the Constitutionalists, and abolish incumbency in all Branches of government. Those are my answers. All people will be made happy. Excepting maybe the foreigners who will realize they are not so well off as they were before we readopted isolationism. This is my finger to the world.

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Ephesians 6:12